I’ve been meaning to write about this but was too lazy to get to it (like a lot of things in my life) until I had a conversation with a friend on Instagram. Beyonce’s fifth album just came out which is amazing and if you haven’t gotten in then bitch what are you waiting on? Anyways her album is really provocative and she’s singing about sex a lot. I mean A LOT. And she’s so descriptive and so unapologetic and a love it. My friend posted a screenshot of a tweet a girl posted that said “just because Bey decided to talk about her sexcapades doesn’t mean you gotta tell us about yours. She’s married. Close your legs and shut up.” I posted a comment saying how I dont agree with that at ALL. There’s so many things wrong with that tweet. For one, we have to be married to talk about sex? Two who is “us”? Is us the internet? Is us friends? Is it okay to talk about sex to your friends, but not online or are you suppose to keep that to yourself? But “close your legs” is what really got me. That can be taken a number of ways. Close your legs forever? Close your legs if you’re single? Close your legs until you’re in a relationship for a while? What does that mean?
So me and me friend had a little debate in the comment section. Her stance was that Bey is doing singing about sex in a classy way and as long as you’re doing it “right” it’s ok. She also said how she feels this way because when she did talk about sex people ridiculed her so she just stayed off the topic. My stance was I LOOVE when women talk or sing about sex. I LOOOVE it. I love when Bey does it, when Janet Jackson does it, when Nicki Minaj does it, and when Trina does it. I love watching Youtube videos about women talking about their sex lives. It’s something about when a woman talks, raps, or sings about sex. It doesn’t matter if it’s “classy” or not. The dirtier the better in my eyes. If you gonna talk about it, don’t hold back. Talk about it! Hell I wanna learn something.
But I think my friend bought up a good point and is proof of how we condition women and young girls about sex and talking about it. We want to talk about it but are looked down on when we do so we go on and tell other girls not to do it. “Close your legs and shut up.” Now I agree that discretion is needed and posting your nudes on line isn’t cool because you are most likely doing it for attention. But you mean to tell me I can have sex (because I’m told waiting and holding out ain’t gonna get me anywhere) but talking about it is a no? I know that’s the standard and a double standard at that but is it right? I don’t think so. And I’m not gonna follow it just because it’s expected of me.
I for one respect women who can sleep with guys and not feel a way about it. I don’t deem them as hoes. And if you had the best sex with your boyfriend or just anybody I feel like it’s your right to talk about it. We like sex too. We enjoy it too. If you don’t respect it and you don’t want to hear Beyonce singing about Jay-Z eating her out then that’s cool but don’t push your views on every woman and call them a hoe because of their life choices. These standards of being a lady that are put on us by men and then adopted by women who push that idea down other women’s throats is not going to change anything.
Fuck that “a lady never kisses and tells” bullshit. Fuck that “a lady does this” and “a lady does that”. Fuck being a lady. I’m a woman! A smart, complex, fun, sexual woman who can’t be put in a box (really if you think I am one type of person I will surprise you SO fast) and fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.